It is an interesting social convention to celebrate this event, which has no biological significance, especially because today has no real association with that day except for, by an act of providence, to have the same markings on a particular calendar. Due to the peculiarities of our “modern” Gregorian calendar, there have actually been 27 years, 7 days and 13 seconds (if you consider a year to be a 365-day period, and a day to be 86,400 seconds) between that point and the same time today. On a purely celestial scale, the Earth has orbited the sun 27 times plus about 7/100 of a degree, while the Moon has waxed and waned almost 334 times, or 27.8299 lunar years.

Leaving all this out, some incredibly (as expected) awesome things have happened throughout history on this date:

• Soldiers of the First Crusade starve themselves and walk barefoot around Jerusalem so that nine days later they can claim it was God’s will that they wade in their enemies blood “up to their ankles,” ironically, bled from Jews and Muslims alike.
• Vasco da Gama set out on the first ever direct journey from Europe to India, which is probably the only reason modern American schoolchildren know of the Cape of Good Hope. Unlike Columbus, he actually arrives.
• The first confirmed tornado death in America happens in Cambridge, MA. Remains the only tornado not to target a trailer park.
• The Second Continental Congress adopts the Olive Branch Petition, promising to resolve differences with the crown peacefully, which is basically a footnote in history because a year later…
• The Declaration of Independence is given its first public read in Philadelphia, the (third) Liberty Bell is rung, and the United States begins its first war (and wins).
• Commodore Perry sails into Tokyo harbor on his “black ship” and initiates trading relations between the Empire and the U.S. under the threat of military force, setting an ironically accurate tone for the rest of history.
• The newly-formed Royal Canadian Mounted Police (then the North-West Mounted Police) begin their first assignment: march West to force drunk Americans to respect their authority. Canada still considered to be “America’s Hat.”
• The first issue of the Wall Street Journal is published, beginning its illustrious career as a status symbol for pretentious snobs everywhere.
• Count Ferdinand Adolf Heinrich August Graf von Zeppelin is born, later perfects navigable lighter-than-air transport, and, like all pre-1940 German engineering advances, is forgotten by the world, which continues to be surprised with the craftsmanship of a BMW.
• The first reports of aliens in Roswell, NM are broadcast. Alien hats go on sale a few hours later.
• John D. Rockefeller is born, who would later become an evil rich white oil baron and setup the modern, targeted philanthropic structure, fight racial segregation, improve public health and directly or indirectly fund 23 Nobel laureates. He continues to confuse hippies to this day.
• The IBM CICS software is released, still in use by 90% of fortune 500 companies 40 years later.

I hope you now know more than you ever wanted to about this date, and can now resolve the inferiority you feel in my presence by way of fate.